AI Model Comparison

Best AI Model for

Dad Jokes

entertainment · Tested 2026-08

The Verdict

  • Almost every model served the same jokes (“an impasta,” “outstanding in his field”). The internet’s dad-joke canon.
  • Grok 4.3 brought genuinely fresh material.
  • GPT-4o, Gemini, and Mistral opened with “Sure, here are three.” A real dad doesn’t explain.
  • Qwen3 235B won cost and had the best programmer puns.

Volume test — can models produce five distinct groan-worthy pun-based dad jokes without repeats?

The Prompt

Give me five classic dad jokes. Pun-based, family-friendly, maximum groan. Number them 1-5. No explanations — a real dad doesn't explain the joke.
Quality Winner: Grok 4.3
Best Value: Qwen3 235B
Fastest: Mistral Large 3

Model Results

GPT-5.6 Sol

  1. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.

  2. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

  3. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

  4. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

  5. Want to hear a construction joke? I’m still working on it.

Metrics
Cost $0.0026
Time 3.3s
Words 57

GPT-5.2

  1. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
  2. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  3. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
  4. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
  5. I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
Metrics
Cost $0.0013
Time 3.2s
Words 61

GPT-4o

  1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

  2. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.

  3. How do you organize a space party? You planet.

  4. I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

  5. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.

Metrics
Cost $0.0009
Time 2.8s
Words 58

Claude Opus 5

  1. I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

  2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

  3. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

  4. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

  5. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.

Metrics
Cost $0.0054
Time 4.5s
Words 60

Claude Sonnet 4.6

  1. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

  2. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.

  3. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

  4. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.

  5. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.

Metrics
Cost $0.0016
Time 4.1s
Words 62

Gemini 2.5 Pro

  1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  3. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  4. I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
  5. “I’m hungry.” “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.”
Metrics
Cost $0.0031
Time 13.0s
Words 55

Grok 4.3

Quality
  1. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  2. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  3. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  4. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
  5. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor? It was just a stage he was going through.
Metrics
Cost $0.0005
Time 6.3s
Words 78

DeepSeek V3

  1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
  4. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
  5. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Metrics
Cost $0.0002
Time 2.2s
Words 65

Qwen3 235B

Value
  1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
  2. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great view, but the food was no good — it had no atmosphere.
  3. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  4. I asked the librarian if they had books about paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you…”
  5. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
Metrics
Cost $0.0001
Time 4.4s
Words 73

Llama 4 Maverick

  1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  3. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be a sedan.
  4. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  5. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-gi.
Metrics
Cost $0.0001
Time 1.9s
Words 73

Mistral Large 3

Speed

  1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

  2. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.

  3. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

  4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

  5. How do you organize a space party? You planet.

Metrics
Cost $0.0006
Time 1.8s
Words 61

Kimi K2.5

  1. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

  2. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down.

  3. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.

  4. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

  5. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.

Metrics
Cost $0.0003
Time 2.1s
Words 74

The Take

  • Most models handed back the same recycled set. “Impasta” appeared in eight of twelve.
  • Grok 4.3 actually varied its material.

Domain-specific humor — dad jokes for software engineers. Tests wordplay in a technical register.

The Prompt

Give me three dad jokes specifically for programmers. Still groan-worthy, still pun-based, but the punchline should land for someone who writes code. Number them 1-3.
Quality Winner: Qwen3 235B
Best Value: Qwen3 235B
Fastest: Llama 4 Maverick

Model Results

GPT-5.6 Sol

  1. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.

  2. Why did the developer go broke? Because they used up all their cache.

  3. Why was the JavaScript developer sad? Because they didn’t know how to null their feelings.

Metrics
Cost $0.0019
Time 7.1s
Words 41

GPT-5.2

  1. Why do programmers always confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

  2. I told my code a joke… but it didn’t laugh. Turns out it was a runtime problem.

  3. My friend said he could fix my bug in one line. I said, “Cool—which line?” He said, “The one I’m going to delete.”

Metrics
Cost $0.0013
Time 3.8s
Words 57

GPT-4o

Sure, here are three programmer-themed dad jokes for you:

  1. Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween?

    • Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

  2. How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?

    • You console it.

  3. Why did the developer go broke?

    • Because he used up all his cache!
Metrics
Cost $0.0008
Time 2.7s
Words 53

Claude Opus 5

  1. A SQL query walks into a bar, strolls up to two tables, and asks, “Mind if I join you?”

  2. Why did the programmer go broke? He blew through all his cache.

  3. My code has serious commitment issues. Every time I try to get it to settle down, it just branches off and pushes me away.

Metrics
Cost $0.0212
Time 12.2s
Words 58

Claude Sonnet 4.6

Here are three programmer dad jokes:

1. Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

Because light attracts bugs.

2. A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks…

“Can I join you?”

3. Why did the programmer quit his job?

Because he didn’t get arrays.

(a raise)

Metrics
Cost $0.0015
Time 3.7s
Words 53

Gemini 2.5 Pro

Of course. Here are three groan-worthy dad jokes for programmers:

  1. Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

  2. I wanted to write a joke about an infinite loop… …but I couldn’t find a good ending.

  3. A programmer’s spouse tells them, “You need to go to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread.

Metrics
Cost $0.0046
Time 25.1s
Words 79

Grok 4.3

  1. Why do programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
  2. A SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables, and asks, “Mind if I join you?”
  3. Why did the developer go broke? He used up all his cache.
Metrics
Cost $0.0004
Time 10.5s
Words 45

DeepSeek V3

  1. My friend keeps confusing his “null” with his “undefined” — I told him they’re basically the same, but it still doesn’t type check out.

  2. Why did the programmer always mix up Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

  3. I wrote a function to help me find a lost item, but it still hasn’t returned anything. I guess it’s stuck in an infinite loop.

Metrics
Cost $0.0002
Time 3.1s
Words 68

Qwen3 235B

Quality

Why do Java developers wear glasses?
Because they can’t C#.

I was gonna tell you a joke about UDP…
But you might not get it.

Never trust a programmer who uses float for money.
They’re bound to lose some in the precision.

Metrics
Cost $0.0001
Time 2.2s
Words 45

Llama 4 Maverick

Speed

Here are three programmer-specific dad jokes:

  1. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
  2. Why did the developer go to the doctor? They had a virus… and a few bugs to debug.
  3. Why did the programmer quit their job? Because they didn’t get arrays.

I hope these make you groan and chuckle!

Metrics
Cost $0.0001
Time 1.9s
Words 57

Mistral Large 3

Here are three groan-worthy dad jokes tailor-made for programmers—guaranteed to make you facepalm while debugging:

  1. Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn’t get arrays—but his boss kept saying, “You’re not indexing high enough!”

  2. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can’t C# (see sharp)… and also because they refuse to use Python’s snake_case for fashion.

  3. Why was the function so lonely? Because it had too many parameters—but no arguments to keep it company. (And it kept throwing NullReferenceException at love.)

Metrics
Cost $0.0010
Time 2.4s
Words 87

Kimi K2.5

  1. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.

  2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised — which, in fairness, is not an exception I had caught.

  3. “We need to talk about your code.” “Is it my indentation?” “It’s all your indentation. Every single byte of it.”

Metrics
Cost $0.0003
Time 2.4s
Words 58

The Take

  • Qwen3 235B, the cheapest model, wrote the best programmer jokes (“can’t C#”).
  • Claude Opus 5’s SQL “mind if I join you?” is the classic.
  • Half the field defaulted to the “Oct 31 == Dec 25” joke.

Precision over volume — one maximally groan-inducing one-liner. Tests comedic judgment.

The Prompt

Write the single most groan-inducing dad-joke one-liner you can produce. Just one. Make it hurt.
Quality Winner: Kimi K2.5
Best Value: Qwen3 235B
Fastest: Llama 4 Maverick

Model Results

GPT-5.6 Sol

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet—I don’t know y.
Metrics
Cost $0.0016
Time 3.7s
Words 11

GPT-5.2

I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
Metrics
Cost $0.0003
Time 2.5s
Words 12

GPT-4o

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down!
Metrics
Cost $0.0002
Time 2.4s
Words 10

Claude Opus 5

I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough — so now I just loaf around, which is honestly the yeast of my problems.
Metrics
Cost $0.0223
Time 16.1s
Words 27

Claude Sonnet 4.6

“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down.”
Metrics
Cost $0.0004
Time 2.8s
Words 12

Gemini 2.5 Pro

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth, and then it’s a soap opera.
Metrics
Cost $0.0012
Time 20.9s
Words 22

Grok 4.3

I’m terrified of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
Metrics
Cost $0.0003
Time 14.7s
Words 11

DeepSeek V3

I’m afraid for the calendar—its days are numbered.
Metrics
Cost $0.0000
Time 1.7s
Words 8

Qwen3 235B

Value
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity… it’s impossible to put down.
Metrics
Cost $0.0000
Time 1.5s
Words 11

Llama 4 Maverick

Speed
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Metrics
Cost $0.0000
Time 1.4s
Words 14

Mistral Large 3

Here it is, the nuclear option of dad jokes:

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”

(You’re welcome. I’ll be here all week—please don’t tip.)

Metrics
Cost $0.0003
Time 1.9s
Words 32

Kimi K2.5

Quality
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
Metrics
Cost $0.0001
Time 1.7s
Words 10

The Take

  • Kimi K2.5 landed the clean kill: “I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.”
  • Claude Opus 5 chained three puns into one, against the “single” brief.
  • Mistral added “I’ll be here all week.” A dad who explains he’s joking isn’t a dad.

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